Jerky - The Perfect Post-Apocalyptic Snack

Posted on September 11, 2014 by Jonathan Reilly

The night is muggy, humid, moist. The alleyway seems to stretch on for miles and miles, stained with the grime and decay of a city in a decline. Scratch that, these are the markings of a society suffering the inevitable pains of it's dying days. Corrupt governments enact their totalitarian, fascist will upon the unsuspecting citizens who have been mentally immobilized through lifetimes of both subtle and obvious indoctrination. Yet here I stand, a believer in human rights, a mercenary with an addiction to justice and a penchant for delivering said justice with great ferocity. But I'm hungry...I seek nourishment.

As I take a few more steps, the pungent stank of a decomposing civilization stinging my nostrils, I notice a cold, foreboding mist spreading through the alley, heightening the tension a great deal, bathing in the unnatural neon lights from decrepit buildings above. The echos of my steps join the other sounds polluting the alleyway, joining into a twisted symphony of sound. The echoing foot steps bounce around amongst the sounds of homeless vagrants vomiting off their daily handle of hard liquor, the sound of starving rats fighting for scraps of food at the bottoms of dumpsters.

I finally reach the other side of the alley and scope a rundown store across the street. I jet across the street as quietly as possible - this is a bad part of town, and many dangers lie in the post-apocalyptic haze. Upon entering the store I go through aisle after aisle of expired food, until finally...I find something worth eating. Glorious, delicious beef jerky. This will be just the nourishment I need to make it across the wastelands of down town. I'll need my energy if I want to survive the hells that lie beyond the city walls.

Beef jerky would be the ultimate post-apocalyptic snack. Think about it - not only does the jerky rich in preservatives take forever to expire, you can also learn how to manufacture your own jerky. I'd suggest printing out some articles now about the manufacturing of home made jerky just in case the inevitable zombie apocalypse happens tomorrow.

I'd also suggest stocking up on some beef jerky now, considering some of our more popular items are out of stock, like the Biltong: South African Style Seasoned Dried Beef Jerky. Is this a sign the zombies are already descending upon another nation? Who knows! Best to grab yourself some of our remaining stock, such as Mingua Beef Jerky, Jeff's Famous Bacon Jerky Sampler Package, or some smoked venison jerky from Up North.

Better yet, check out our Deals of the Week and save yourself a tiny bit of cash while you invest in your future! And when the ravenous zombie hordes, or unrelenting mutants, or revolting cyborgs start laying waste to the world whilst synth music pumps down from the heavens, you'll be prepared, well-stocked with delicious jerky to energize you to survive!